The Let-Go Workbook

1. Set a timer for 12 minutes. Write the situation at the top of the page in one plain sentence. Include only what happened, not your interpretation. Situation: ________________________________________________

2. Under the heading Thought, write the exact sentence - or sentences - your mind repeats about this situation. Use quotation marks if that helps. Don’t clean it up. The mind is rarely a tidy editor.

Thought: “________________________________________________”

3. Under Feeling, name up to three emotions. Choose specific words such as disappointed, afraid, embarrassed, resentful, lonely, relieved, or ashamed. Avoid using only “bad” or “stressed.” Then mark where each feeling shows up in your body.

Feeling 1: __________________ Body location: ______ Feeling 2: ________________ Body location: ______ Feeling 3: ________________ Body location: ________

4. Under Story, finish this sentence: “This means that…” Write the conclusion you’ve been carrying about yourself, another person, or the future.

Story: “This means that _____________________________________”

5. Draw a line between what you know and what you’re assuming. On the left, write two or three facts that an outside camera could record. On the right, write the meanings you added.

Observable facts: __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

Added meanings: __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

6. Circle the part you most want to release: the thought, the feeling, or the story. Then complete this sentence: “For the next 24 hours, I’m willing to stop feeding this by…”

____________________________________________________________

7. Read your page once, slowly. Put a check beside each part you completed. You’re finished when you have written one situation, one thought, at least one feeling, one body location, one story, two facts, two added meanings, and one 24-hour choice.

Here’s a completed example:

> Situation: My business partner changed the delivery schedule without telling me. > > Thought: “I can’t rely on him.” > > Feelings: Angry - tight jaw. Anxious - fluttering stomach. > > Story: “This means I’m going to be left handling every problem alone.” > > Observable facts: The schedule changed. I found out from a customer. > > Added meanings: He doesn’t respect me. I’ll always have to carry the business. > > Part I want to release: The story. > > For the next 24 hours, I’m willing to stop feeding this by: Replaying the conversation and guessing what he’ll do next. I’ll ask him directly about the schedule tomorrow.

Notice what happened. The situation stayed real. The reaction became more precise. That precision matters because you can respond to “I felt blindsided” more usefully than to a foggy “Everything is too much.”

Use the Names in Real Life

This practice works especially well after a message, meeting, argument, or quiet moment that keeps replaying. Suppose a friend doesn’t answer for two days. Your thought might be, “She’s avoiding me.” The feeling might be worry mixed with rejection. The story might be, “People leave when they get close.” Naming all three helps you avoid treating a delayed reply as proof of a lifelong pattern.

At work, use the same check before sending a sharp email. Write the thought, feeling, and story first. Then wait ten minutes and reread the facts. The expected outcome isn’t that you’ll feel cheerful. It’s that you’ll know whether your next action is a clear request, a boundary, or simply a pause.

You can also use a quick version when you have less than a minute:

Thought: “What sentence is loudest?” Feeling: “What emotion is here?” Story: “What am I making this mean?”

Write three short answers in your phone’s notes app. For example: “They think I’m incompetent / embarrassed / one mistake proves I can’t do this.” Once named, choose one grounded action: correct the mistake, ask for clarification, or take a break before deciding what it means.

Try this for three separate situations over the next week. Use one minor irritation, one relationship concern, and one regret. You’re looking for patterns, not perfect answers. If the same story appears three times - such as “I have to handle everything alone” - that story may be the main thing asking for your attention.

Apply It

Choose one current situation and complete this short version:

What happened, in camera facts only? ____________________________________________________________

What thought keeps repeating? ____________________________________________________________

What feeling is strongest, from 0 to 10? ____________________________________________________________

What story am I attaching to it? ____________________________________________________________

What response would fit the facts better than the story? ____________________________________________________________

You’re done when you’ve written all five answers and selected one response you can take within 24 hours. Keep the response small. “Ask one direct question” counts. So does “leave the message unanswered until morning.”

Decide What You’re Ready to Set Down

Naming what you carry doesn’t require you to forgive, forget, reconnect, or pretend nothing happened. It gives you a clearer choice. Sometimes you’re ready to release an assumption. Sometimes you need to feel the emotion before it loosens. Sometimes the story contains a useful warning, but it has grown too large and is running your life.

Look back at your completed Three-Part Naming Practice. Which part has the most energy? If the feeling is strongest, give it a few quiet minutes without arguing with it. If the thought is repeating, write a more balanced sentence that includes what you know and what you don’t know. If the story is taking over, separate its old conclusion from today’s evidence.

A practical replacement might look like this: “I was disappointed when the plan changed. That doesn’t prove I’m unimportant, and I can ask for clearer communication next time.” This isn’t forced positivity. It’s a sentence that leaves room for facts, feelings, and choice.

Apply It

Complete one of these statements:

If I’m carrying a thought, I can loosen it by asking: “What evidence supports this, and what evidence is missing?” My question: __________________________________________________

If I’m carrying a feeling, I can make room for it by naming: “The feeling is ________. It is strongest in ________. I can allow it for five minutes without acting on it.”

If I’m carrying a story, I can resize it by writing: “The old story says __________________. A more accurate story today is __________________.”

Choose the statement that matches your page. Your expected outcome is a single sentence you can use when the situation returns. Put it somewhere visible for one day - a phone note, a card, or the corner of your desk. When the old reaction shows up, read the sentence before taking action.

What Became Clear When You Named It?

Use these questions to turn your notes into a next step. Write honestly, but keep your answers specific. One clear sentence is more useful than a page of fog.

Which part of your reaction was easiest to name - the thought, the feeling, or the story - and what made it easier?

__________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

What story have you been treating as a fact, and what two facts support or challenge it?

__________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

What is one small thing you will stop feeding in the next 24 hours, and what will you do instead?

__________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

Before you close the page, read your three answers once. Circle the one next step you can complete by tomorrow. Letting go doesn’t begin with making everything disappear. It begins with knowing what, exactly, you’re ready to stop carrying.

End of chapter one. 6 more chapters in the full book.