Finding Yourself In Recovery

You can repeat the check-in even when your urge is low. A two-minute entry on an ordinary day helps you recognize your patterns before a difficult day arrives.

A Four-Line Check-In You Can Repeat

Materials needed: A notebook or journal, a pen, and a clock or phone timer. Time required: 3-5 minutes. Expected outcome: One completed entry that names your urge level, emotion, need, and next safe action.

Your Turn

1. Write today’s date and the time. 2. Complete this sentence: “My urge to use or return to the old behavior is _ out of 10.” 3. Complete this sentence: “The strongest emotion I notice is.” 4. Complete this sentence: “What I may need right now is.” 5. Choose one action you can complete within the next 30 minutes. Write: “My next safe action is _.” 6. After completing the action, rate the urge again from 0 to 10. 7. Mark the entry complete only when both urge ratings and all three words - emotion, need, and action - are written down.

Keep your wording simple. “I’m irritated and need food” is enough. You don’t need to explain your entire life in one entry. Also, don’t change your first urge rating because you wish it were lower. The honest number is the useful number.

Here’s a completed example:

> Date and time: Tuesday, 6:15 p.m. > Urge: 7 out of 10 > Emotion: Lonely and tense > Need: Contact and a calmer body > Next safe action: Eat a sandwich, take a 10-minute walk, and text my recovery friend > Urge after action: 4 out of 10

Now complete your own entry.

Your Turn

Date and time: ________________________________________________

Urge, 0-10: My urge is ______ out of 10.

Emotion: The strongest emotion I notice is _________________________.

Need: What I may need right now is _______________________________.

Next safe action within 30 minutes: _______________________________

Urge after the action, 0-10: My urge is ______ out of 10.

What changed, if anything? ______________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

If your number goes up after the action, the check-in still worked. You learned that the first action wasn’t enough, or that another need was present. Choose a second safe action, such as calling your sponsor, attending a meeting, leaving a risky place, or asking someone to stay with you. If you feel in immediate danger of using or harming yourself, contact emergency services or a crisis resource in your area, and reach out to a trusted person now.

Use the Check-In Before the Moment Gets Loud

Try the check-in at three useful times: once in the morning, once during a difficult part of the day, and once before bed. You don’t have to do all three forever. For the next seven days, one entry at roughly the same time can reveal patterns. Notice whether urges rise after skipped meals, poor sleep, arguments, isolation, payday, certain places, or contact with particular people.

For example, imagine you receive a stressful message from a family member. Your first thought might be, “I need to get out of my head.” The check-in slows that thought down: urge 6, emotion angry, need space and support, next action leave the room and call someone. The expected outcome isn’t instant happiness. It’s a safer pause between the trigger and your response.

You can also use the check-in when the urge is only a 2 or 3. That gives you practice without waiting for a crisis. If you notice the same need several days in a row, treat that pattern as important information. A repeated need for sleep, connection, or help deserves a planned response, not criticism.

Apply It

For the next seven days, complete one check-in at the same general time. At the end of each entry, circle one result:

• Urge lowered - Urge stayed the same - Urge increased - I learned something useful

Your seven-day practice is complete when you have seven dated entries and at least one sentence describing a pattern you noticed.

Pattern note: The situation most connected with my urges was __________________________.

The emotion I noticed most often was _________________________________.

The need I overlooked most often was _________________________________.

One safe action that helped was _____________________________________.

_______________________________________________________________

If the check-in shows frequent urges of 7 or higher, don’t handle that information alone. Share the pattern with a sponsor, counselor, recovery group, doctor, or trusted support person. The journal isn’t a test you pass by staying calm. It’s a way to spot when more support is needed.

Questions for Your Next Check-In

1. When your urge was highest, what emotion and need appeared beside it, and what did that connection teach you?

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

2. Which safe action lowered your urge most clearly, and when will you use it again?

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

3. What is one early warning sign you’ll watch for tomorrow before the urge becomes stronger?

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

A check-in doesn’t erase an urge. It gives you a few honest facts, a little breathing room, and a next step you can actually take. That pause is small, but small pauses can change the direction of a day.

End of chapter one. 4 more chapters in the full book.