Exhale: My Little Book Of Calm

Learn to Name Feelings

Have you ever stared at your own body like, “Why am I like this?” and then your brain goes blank? Amina, 13 in Grade 8, told me mornings are the worst - she freezes when it’s time to get ready, like her feet forget how to move. When she tries to explain it, all she can say is, “I don’t know… I’m just not okay.” That “not okay” is a feeling, but it’s too big and too blurry to help her quickly.

Here’s the first trick: feelings are like colours. You don’t need a perfect art class name - you need a clear colour for the moment you’re in. In this book, we keep it simple. Circle what fits: Happy, Sad, Angry, Scared, Calm. Then add your own words for “Today I feel…” because sometimes it’s not just one colour. It can be a mix, like “scared and a bit angry” or “sad but trying to be calm.”

Use the Feel-Name-Rate Loop to make the feeling smaller and easier to handle. “Feel” means notice what’s happening inside your body right now. “Name” means pick one feeling word (from the wheel or your own words). “Rate” means give it a number from 1 to 5. You’re not judging yourself - you’re collecting information. And when you can name something, you’re already not helpless.

Ask yourself: What is the loudest feeling right now? If you can’t pick, start with your body. Tight chest? Heavy stomach? Hot face? Dull head? Those are clues. Your job is not to solve your whole life in one go. Your job is to label the feeling so you can respond to it.

Practical takeaway: Circle one feeling (or write your own words) and say it out loud once: “Today I feel ___.” That simple sentence is your anchor.

Spot Stress Signals

Sometimes stress doesn’t arrive like a dramatic movie scene. It sneaks in through your body and your behaviour. Amina said the first sign for her is usually her breathing getting shallow, like she can’t take a full breath. Then her thoughts start running fast and messy: “I’ll be late. Everyone will notice. I can’t do this.” Even before school starts, her body is already preparing for something scary - even when nothing “bad” is happening yet.

Here are a few stress signals you can watch for. These are common, everyday signs - your body’s way of saying, “Hey, something feels too much right now.” You might notice headaches, feeling on edge, getting angry faster than usual, feeling quiet and shut down, or struggling to sleep. Some girls also get stomach aches, feel shaky, or cry more easily.

Now the important part: don’t wait until you’re at a breaking point. Try this quick check-in: look at your stress signals and pick the ones that are true for you today. If you notice 3 or more of these signals, your stress is probably loud enough that you deserve a quick tool - not a “push through it” lecture. Your body is not being difficult; it’s sending signals.

Amina’s pattern helped her once she stopped arguing with herself. Instead of saying, “I’m being silly,” she said, “My signals are loud.” That gave her permission to slow down for ten seconds and then do the next step - naming and rating - so she could choose what to do next.

Practical takeaway: Circle the stress signals that match you right now. Then remember this sentence: “If 3+ signals are true, I can use a quick tool.”

Circle a 1-5 Number in Ten Seconds

Rating your feelings sounds like something grown-ups do in clinics, but it can be simple and personal. It’s just a way to measure how big the feeling is at this moment. When Amina froze in the mornings, her feeling rating was always “the whole world” until she tried this: a number, not a story.

Here’s how to do it in ten seconds. Find your feeling word first (from the wheel, or your own words). Then rate it from 1 to 5:

• 1 means it’s small. You can still think and move.
• 3 means it’s medium. It’s hard, but you’re still managing.
• 5 means it’s big. You feel like you might tip over.

You don’t need to be exact. You just need a number you can check again later. That’s the power - because if you rate it now, you can rate it again after you do a tool. You’ll notice change, even if it’s tiny. Tiny change still counts.

Use the Feel-Name-Rate Loop again with this exact order: Feel → Name → Rate. Feel is what your body is doing. Name is the feeling word. Rate is the number. Amina practiced it like a mini routine: “My chest is tight (feel). I’m scared (name). It’s a 4 (rate).” Saying it in that order stopped her brain from spiralling into “What if…?” and brought her back to the present moment.

If you’re thinking, “But what if I get it wrong?” - good question. The rating is not a test. It’s a snapshot. Your job is to pick the best number for right now. Later, when your body changes, your number can change too. That’s normal.

Practical takeaway: Circle one number today - 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 - right now. Then ask yourself one quick question: “What would help me move my number down by 1?” Even one step counts.

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