Saying No To Abuse

Why Your Body Belongs to You

Talia, age six, loves stickers. Her grown-up helps her place a sticker on a picture of a girl with arms stretched wide. “This body belongs to you,” the grown-up says. “You choose who touches you.”

That idea helps you notice when touch feels good, confusing, or wrong. Fun fact: your skin can tell you when something feels too rough, too close, or not okay.

A safe grown-up listens when you say “no.” You never need to hug, kiss, or sit on someone’s lap. You can wave, smile, or say, “No thank you.”

The Body-Ownership Compass

The Body-Ownership Compass is a simple way to help you choose safe actions.

My body means your arms, legs, tummy, chest, bottom, and private parts. Private parts are the parts covered by underwear or a swimsuit.

Safe touch helps, protects, or feels welcome. A high-five, a hand held while crossing the street, or a doctor checking your body with a trusted grown-up nearby can be safe.

Unsafe touch hurts, scares, confuses, or happens after you say “no.” No one should touch your private parts, ask you to touch theirs, or ask you to keep touch secret. A doctor may need to check private parts for health, but a trusted grown-up should explain first and stay with you.

You can draw a little compass. Color the safe side green. Color the unsafe side red. Match a picture of a high-five to green. Match a picture of someone pulling your clothes to red.

What to Do When Touch Feels Wrong

Use your strong voice. Move away. Tell a safe grown-up. Keep telling until someone helps.

For example, Talia’s classmate wants to hug her. Talia does not want a hug.

1. Talia takes one step back.

2. She holds up her hand and says, “Stop. I do not want a hug.”

3. She walks to her teacher.

4. She says, “Someone tried to hug me after I said no.”

5. Her teacher listens and helps keep her safe.

The expected outcome is simple: Talia gets help, and the adult takes her words seriously.

Quick checklist

• Say, “No,” “Stop,” or “I do not like that.”
• Move toward a safe grown-up.
• Tell what happened using clear words.
• Tell another grown-up if the first one does not help.
• Remember: it is never your fault.

Mistakes to Watch For

Thinking you must be polite

You do not owe anyone a hug or kiss.

Do this: Wave or say, “No thank you.”

Not this: Hug because someone feels sad or angry.

Keeping a touch secret

Unsafe touch may come with a secret, gift, or threat.

Do this: Tell a safe grown-up, even if someone says, “Do not tell.”

Freezing or forgetting words

Sometimes your body feels stuck. You can run, point, draw, or tell later.

Do this: Find help as soon as you can.

Not this: Blame yourself.

Draw your own Body-Ownership Compass and add one green safe touch and one red unsafe touch. Which safe grown-up will you tell if your compass says, “Get help”?